Some People are Pure Nutters

Do not try to fight a religious fanatic on a mission to change your faith.  Ever!  More than that, strive with all your worth never to become a religious fanatic bent on changing someone else’s faith, changing their religious viewpoint, or showing them “the way,” “the light,” “the truth,” “redemption,” “forgiveness,” “Divine grace,” or anything else you may think they’d benefit from spiritually.  Why?  Because a.) it does no good, b.) it is NOT the Pagan way, c.) it is nothing short of bloody impolite, d.) it presumes that their way is somehow wrong (if not for everyone, then, at least for them),  and, e.) it’s the kind of asinine behavior that causes hate, discontent, and wars.

That said, how do you deal with a person who is hell bent on changing your mind about your spirituality?  Especially when ignoring them, deflecting them, and distracting them is doing no good at all?  How do you politely, safely, and with the least harm possible, tell them, essentially, to bug off--you are not interested?!  

Well, sometimes, you don’t. (Especially the “bug off” part--you may be thinking it, but it does no good to voice it!)  And, what’s more, sometimes you simply shouldn’t.   Why?  Because some people are on a mission--literally--and just won’t be deflected, distracted, or derailed from their “cause” no matter what you say or how you say it, so the best course of action open to you is a safe and expedient retreat.  Just put as much distance between you and them as humanly possible!

There are a few reasons for this, but sometimes the biggest reason of all is your own personal safety.  Let’s face it, some people are pure nutters--and there is no changing or helping a nut case, no matter how much you may want to or think you can.  Then there is the common, garden variety know-it-all who is just certain they have the answer to your problems, your redemption, and/or your pathway to their “God.”  There is just no dealing with a person like that.

Then, there is the well meaning, well intentioned proselytizer who can be--and often is--the most vile of all preachers you’ll encounter.  They will tell you everything from “you are wrong,” to “you are doomed/a sinner/going to hell/going to pay/ or even, going to die” if you do not, “repent/change/see the light” or whatever they think you need to do in order to think or believe just like they do. You can tell them all day long that you do not so much as believe in the concept of a place like “hell,” but it does no good at all--they are determined to “save” you none-the-less.  You can tell them you are not interested and do not need or want saving, but they pursue your “conversion” anyway.  

Again, I say: Retreat.  

A spirited debate is sometimes interesting, informative, and fun.  But, when a conversation tips over the threshold of “spirited debate,” headlong into the dodgy territory of “you are wrong, I am right,” it’s time to get away.  And, fast.  Do it as safely and politely as possible, but if all else fails, slam the door, ask them to leave, or call the cops.  Just do whatever it takes to get away from them.  If they are online, on your phone, or coming at you in some way other than in person, block them, unfriend them or, if you must, report them… I can’t say it enough, just get away from them.

Ponder this:  You may believe the way you do with every fiber of your being.  They may, too.  You might be willing to die for your faith.  They might be, too.  You may not be willing to kill, maim, or wound for your faith.  Others, however, may feel very, very differently.  (Consider, for instance, the likes of Timothy McVeigh and Osama Bin Laden.)   

It is often considered the pinnacle of rudeness to ask a person one hardly knows what their sexual preferences or political beliefs might be--and yet, the deeply personal topic  of one’s spiritual convictions is fair game for anyone to ask.  It shouldn’t be.  If you are asked the question inappropriately, don’t answer it.  If anyone ever has the affront to ask you if you have or have not been, “saved,” are “right with the Lord,” or anything remotely like that--again, do not answer--this is nobody’s business but your own.  Furthermore, if they try to backdoor you by “witnessing” about their own “redemption from sinful ways,” tell them you are happy for them, then get away!   

Remember… no matter how joyful and optimistic your own faith may make you feel, you should keep it to yourself or with your own Circle. Why?  Because every path is sacred and every path is the right path for someone and it is not for us to judge which pathway is right for whom.  If you feel compelled to “preach,” do so by example, keeping your mouth shut.   

Finally, a word about children… A lot of Pagan parents choose to home school their children to protect them from unwanted outside influences or from themselves--the parents fearing their children might say something “religiously unacceptable” or “spiritually odd” and, thus, become a target for ill treatment by other children or even--and, yes, this happens--other adults.  I do not fault parents who do this, but if you are a parent who cannot or do not want to home school your child, what do you do?  Good question!  Let’s explore…

It all goes back to parenting by example, teaching more by what you do than by what you say, and taking care to avoid labeling--especially negative labeling.  Teaching our children to be spiritually bigoted is as bad as teaching them to be racially bigoted.  The minute you start telling your children that another person is somehow less than you are because of their religious beliefs, you are guilty of teaching religious hatred. The very instant you ridicule, demean, or criticize someone else’s belief system in front of your children, you are guilty of hate indoctrination and are, therefore, no different to Timothy McVeigh or Osama Bin Laden.  Think about that.  

Of course, there is no simple recipe for keeping children safe at school from religious bullying (or any other kind for that matter). But for the scope of this discussion it is enough to say that the best way to try to keep a Pagan child safe from religious bigotry, is to teach them to respect all religions, teach them not to preach or try to teach their own religion to others, and to cultivate the habit--when it comes to matters of spirituality--of listening much, speaking little. 

Actually, we could all benefit from that advice--myself included--so, I’ll shut up now!